


Separated (Discontinued)

by Maliam (orphan_account)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, No worries, Unplanned Pregnancy, also finn is in this, also grounders are at peace with the sky people, but not in camp jaha, everybody is happy, everybody is safe and happy at Camp Jaha, except bellarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2624810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Maliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seemed like no matter where they were; in the sky, in a grounder camp, in a mountain and base camp, or even right next to each other, Bellamy and Clarke were always separated.<br/>(discontinued, no longer being written)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is no longer being written, any questions can be directed at [me](http://lexagriffin.co.vu/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know bro

Clarke gasped softly as her body rocked with Bellamy’s. Her hands clawed at his back, trying to ground herself so she didn’t lose her own mind in the sea of pleasure. A scream tried to escape her mouth and before it could become vocal, Clarke clamped down her mouth on Bellamy’s shoulder. His skin was sheen with sweat, pleasure, and ecstasy.

One final thrust sent her tumbling into the pool of euphoria. Her nails dug deeper into his already scared back as she quietly moaned, not wanting to wake anyone. The camp was close quarters and Clarke had no idea what this was yet.

 

She didn’t even know if this was a  _this._  Bellamy had just began to sneak into her tent at night, seeking a friend. Eventually the friendship faded into physical comfort.

And yet…

Nothing between them changed. They continued on with their lives outside of the tent like nothing had changed.

Bellamy pulled himself out of her, his hands living her hips. She could feel the bruises that he had made from how hard he gripped her. Clarke found herself whimpering at the loss of his warmth inside her, but she allowed him to lay her back on the bed. She watched him as he grabbed the cloth beside her bed and cleaned them both up almost mechanically. His face was devoid of emotion, like it always was on these nights.

When he had cleaned them both up, Bellamy tucked Clarke in. Curling the blankets around her naked body as if they would protect her from further harm. Her hands curled to the edge of the blanket, tucking it under her chin. A part of her battled with another, unsure if she should ask Bellamy to stay.

Bellamy, although no where near her first, felt like the only one who counted. And she wanted to tell Bellamy that. But ever since Clarke came back from Mount Weather, things between them had been different. He was cool towards her, treated her like she was above him, like he was some how surprised she talked to him still. It hurt her in more ways than she could voice.

Clarke assumed eventually this surprise would go away. Maybe one day Bellamy would realize that Clarke would never treat Bellamy like he was nothing. She hoped. But it became clear that it would never happen.

He got dressed in his clothes, barely even glancing at Clarke. Even when he did, it was only when she shifted her weight to look at Bellamy better. A frown took over his face as he saw her staring at him.

"Cold?" A whisper fell from his mouth. Clarke smiled and nodded her head, hoping that someway it would convey that the only heat she wanted was from his body. But the smile did not say what she wanted it to and instead Clarke had another blanket draped across her body.

Bellamy reached down to brush a strand of hair from Clarke’s face and Clarke grabbed his hand.

"Bellamy, I—" Clarke stuttered out, trying to find the words to say. But as she grasped for them in her head, she couldn’t find anything to say. Clarke sighed and let go of his hand, shivering as the cold crept up her body. "Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Clarke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe I did know bro


	2. Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this time I for real didn't know bro

Bellamy’s hand pushed on her lips as he attempted to shush her. His body still thrust into hers as he shushed her, a smirk growing on his face.

"You are so loud, learn how to be quiet." He whispered. Clarke was about to nod when his other hand twisted her clit, making her squeak from a wave of pleasure crashing her into her. Bellamy chuckled at her, rolling her eyes and pressing harder against her mouth to keep her from crying out.

In anger, Clarke tightened her legs around Bellamy, making his hips stutter as they moved against her. She tried her best not to laugh at him as she pulled his hand off her face.

"Let’s just see how loud I can be." Clarke purred. She reached forward and gripped Bellamy’s shoulders, flipping them over so she could ride him. He almost groaned as loud as she did when he teased her clit. Clarke giggled, pressing her own hand to his mouth.

Clarke ducked behind a tree, puking up her early lunch.

"Hey, Clarke, are you —" Raven said as she ran to catch up with her friend, "Oh shit!"

She could feel her hair getting pulled away from her face as she puked up more of her food. Raven rubbed her back as Clarke threw up, trying to ease what she was feeling. But that was thing, there was nothing that would be able to ease what Clarke was feeling.

Well… except waiting for nine months for a baby to pop out of her.

Clarke sighed at herself as she wiped her mouth. Raven was already holding out a bottle of water for Clarke to wash her mouth out with. She took the water and rinsed out her mouth before chugging down the rest of the water. If she didn’t get any more food in her, the baby would make her life a living hell. The rationing food in Camp Jaha was hard enough as it was without having to eat for two.

"You ever going to tell me what’s up?" Raven asked as she watched Clarke toss an empty water bottle into her bag and pull out a stash of jerky.

She tried not to glare at her friend as she ripped into the jerky. It wasn’t Raven’s fault she was curious. Clarke had been acting weird for a while now - stupid hormones. It only made it even worse because Clarke had stopped talking to Bellamy.

It was almost impossible to think of a way to tell Bellamy that she was pregnant, and pregnant with his child. So she decided not taking to him would be best. She would ignore it for as long as she could. And maybe, just maybe, she would be able to fake it long enough to get another partner and pretend that she got knocked up by him.

If only she could still see Bellamy at night though. But she couldn’t. He would see her grow, feel the kicks. He would know. He would know because he’s Bellamy. He knows almost everything about her. But not this.

 _Never_  this.

Raven rolled her eyes at Clarke. “Fine, don’t tell me. But Octavia’s confused right now and she doesn’t know whose side to take in this fight you and Bellamy are having.”

"We aren’t fighting." Clarke snapped. Because they weren’t, not really. Clarke was just ignoring Bellamy, not that he went out of his way to talk to her either.

"Fine, not talking, ignoring each other, avoiding each other- whatever mommy and daddy are calling it now-"

"What!" Clarke yelped when she heard the words mommy and daddy.  _She knew? How could she know? She couldn’t._  Clarke didn’t tell anyone, not even her mother.

Raven narrowed her eyes at Clarke. “Oh calm down, it’s what all of us call you. When it was just us on the ground you and Bellamy were like the parents of the group.”

"Oh." Clarke mumbled, right. It was just because they were basically the leaders of the 100. Not for any other reason. Because there was no other reason.

"Why don’t we just go back to camp, we can send some other teens out hunting for today, you don’t look so good." Raven said, reaching out to steady her friend from falling over.

Clarke nodded. She needed to rest, she also needed more food than what she was getting. Like strawberries and chocolate. Chocolate sounded good, she’d have to get more. Raven led Clarke back to camp, talking about Wick the entire time. Clarke didn’t mind that much, it was nice to listen to Raven complain about him so much when Clarke knew she loved him.

Octavia all but tackled her when she walked back into camp. Unfortunately, Octavia was still on probation. She attacked some guy who called Jasper and Monty a homophobic slur. It wouldn’t have been that bad… except Octavia broke his nose and gave him a concussion.

"Urgh, I hate being stuck in here. Lincoln hasn’t seen me in days because of the stupid no grounders in the camp policy. I should just live out there with Lincoln." Octavia whined to her two friends. Clarke laughed.

"Octavia I’m pretty sure Bella—" Clarke started, stopping mid-sentence. "We wouldn’t let you." She rephrased, hoping her stutter would go unnoticed. It didn’t.

"I don’t know what’s happening between you two and it is bothering the fuck out me and everybody else." Octavia said. She looked over her shoulder to some of the other 100 survivors who were talking to Bellamy.

"No one likes that you guys aren’t talking, people have been taking sides."

Clarke threw her hands up in the air and walked away from Raven and Octavia. “We are not  _not_  talking!” It only took them a second to catch up again, one walking on either side of her. “We’re just… I… it’s complicated.”

"What, did one of you pronounce undying love and devotion to each other?" Raven asked, nudging Clarke with her arm. Clarke slowed her pace a littler as she noticed that Raven was having a hard time keeping up.

Octavia snorted. “Because you guys did that daily with your eyes, raking up and down each other-“

"All wanton and passionate—"

"And fiery and—"

"Guys shut up!" Clarke shouted. "Just leave me the fuck alone, you don’t know anything!"

People around them turned, looking at the three of them in curiosity. All Raven and Octavia could do was stare at Clarke. Both of them looked hurt and insulted by Clarke, as they had every right to be. Clarke sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"I… Shit, I’m sorry. I just… I’m not feeling well, I’m going to lie down."

Octavia stepped forward, “Do you need—”

"I can make it three feet on my own, thanks." Clarke grumbled. It was like they already knew she was pregnant, treating her like a fragile doll. She wasn’t as breakable as everybody made her out to be. And the only one who understood that was Bellamy. Now, she couldn’t even talk to him.

Clarke waved goodbye to her friends, one last silent sorry falling from her mouth, before going to her tent. She got her own tent, luckily, because she was part of the 100. All she had was a bed, piles of blankets, a little side table, and clothes stacked on a chair in the corner. Clarke didn’t even bother unlacing her boots all the way before she kicked them off to curl into her bed.

Her hand protectively pressed against her stomach. It was almost an automatic reflex now. Her stomach wasn’t showing too much, but it would soon. One could only wear ill-fitting clothing for so long until it becomes weird.

The door to her tent shifted behind her and Clarke froze. Her hand moved to the blade she kept hidden underneath her pillow. She never got over her fear of getting taken again.

"Clarke?" A familiar whispered voice said. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut tightly, thanking something that her back was turned against the door way.

Bellamy sighed, walking closer to her. Clarke’s hand realized the knife and moved back to her stomach, clutching it. This child inside of her was his. It felt so wrong to keep it from him but yet it felt so right to. Keeping her eyes closed, Clarke listened carefully to Bellamy’s movements. He walked to the end of her bed and there was a blanket pulled across of her. Ever since she said she was cold one time, he never stopped putting extra blankets on top of her. He moved back to the head of the bed and Clarke head him place something on the side table.

Just as Clarke thought Bellamy was about to leave, she felt a hand brush her cheek, pulling hair from her face.

Another sigh left Bellamy’s lips. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

Clarke’s stomach churned, but not with the feeling of nausea but of guilt. She couldn’t tell him. It would ruin everything. Once she was sure he was out of her tent and there was no chance of him coming back, Clarke turned to see what he had brought her. There was a bottle of water on her small table, clearly marked Bellamy on the side, as well as two pills of aspirin.

She wanted to cry. Even when she was avoiding him, he still looked out for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear


	3. Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It started out with a ficlet
> 
> How did it end up like this?
> 
> It was only a ficlet.... It was only a ficlet...

Clarke curled up into her blankets, trying to ignore the work that was going on outside. It was hunting day, every able body had to go hunting. But it felt as almost a bucket of bricks was sitting on her chest. She didn’t want to move, she didn’t want to talk, and she didn’t want to breathe. All the wanted was Bellamy curled around her, kissing her cheeks and holding her stomach. Holding that baby of theirs.

A sob escaped her mouth. She wouldn’t be able to do it alone. Not now. Not ever. Lying to Bellamy about this baby being his would hurt the most because she would see it. Hell, everybody would. They would see it in the babies curls, its eyes, its nose, its stubborn personality. Everybody would know it was Bellamy’s child but Bellamy. Because Bellamy would never think that Clarke would lie to him about this. And even if he had his suspicions he would leave them alone because that was what type of guy Bellamy was.

He would let Clarke lie and say it wasn’t his child because that was what she wanted to do. And he would assume that would what make her happy.

But it wouldn’t be. The only thing that would make her happy would be getting held in his arms, being on the receiving end of his kisses… being his.

"Clarke?" Abbie hummed as she entered her daughter’s tent. Clarke gripped tighter onto her blankets, not wanting to look at her mother. Her mother would know. The second that Clarke showed her face she would know. It had been a miracle that Clarke had lasted this long without her mother finding out.

"Honey? Are you alright? Why aren’t you at check in?"

She tried her hardest not to scoff. Check in seemed like a minuscule problem compared to the one she was facing. Everything seemed small and pointless compared to the human growing inside her. She wondered if that was how all woman felt about their children. Or maybe it was just her.

"Clarke, honey, what’s wrong?" Abbie said. She sat down on Clarke’s bed, her hand rubbing Clarkes arm.

"I’m just hungry, mom, that’s all." Clarke mumbled. She dipped her head against the pillow, keeping her face hidden from Abbie’s view.

"You shouldn’t be." Abbie moved her hand to feel Clarke’s forehead. "I cleared the rationing myself for every single person. You should be getting enough food for yourself. I mean the only way that you wouldn’t be would be because—"

Abbie stopped talking and her hand pulled away from Clarke’s forehead. Clarke finally let out the tears she was keeping in, flinging herself into her mother’s chest. Abbie wrapped her arms around Clarke, pulling her tight against her.

“Oh, Clarke. Honey, sweetie, Shhh.” Abbie whispered, stroking her hair. “It’ll be alright. We’ll figure this out. We can figure this out.”

Clarke continued to sob against her mother’s chest, not bothering to listen to her murmurs of reassurance. Clarke knew what she had to do, but it terrified her. She couldn’t. This child was changing everything. Bellamy and Clarke had a good thing going. They were friends in the day, lovers at night. Nobody knew, nobody cared. And sure, Clarke had wanted more, she always wants more. She wanted more from Wells, from Finn. But she never got it. She was accustom to not getting more. But Clarke was okay with not getting more from Bellamy. If that was how they would live the rest of their lives, Clarke would have been happy to do so. It all changed when this baby came and ruined everything. It wasn’t the baby’s fault, though, it was all Clarkes fault. If she had only taken the precautions, she wouldn’t be in this mess.

“It’s my fault. This is all my fault and now it’s ruined. This baby isn’t going to have a father and I’m going to be a terrible mother.” Clarke sobbed, her voice cracking between every sentence. “The baby is going to hate me.” A whimper fell from her mouth. Her child would hate her. It would hate her so much because of what a terrible person she is.

“Don’t you ever say you wouldn’t be a good mother, Clarke. You are one of the most experienced people in this camp with children. And this baby is going to have its father. Even if it’s biological one doesn’t want a part in this baby’s life. Monty, Jasper, Lincoln, hell, even Kane will take care of this baby like it was their own.” Abbie kissed the top of her head, rocking Clarke’s body with her own. Hand brushed through her hair, trying to comfort Clarke in what little way they could. “Don’t you ever tell me this baby would hate you, Clarke. This baby is going to love you as much as I love you – as much as everyone loves you.”

“He doesn’t love me.” Clarke tucked her head into her mother’s chest. Out of everything, the baby, not talking to Bellamy, lying to everybody, it was that fact that hurt the most. Bellamy didn’t love her. If he loved her, he would be with her right now, not her mother. If Bellamy loved her, he would never leave her, he would curl up beside her at night, hold her hand in the morning, and kiss her in the afternoon. Bellamy didn’t love her.

Abbie kissed her daughter again, this time breathing in against her. “I don’t think you give him enough credit, darling. I think he loves you. I think he loves you a lot. More than your father loved me. More than I loved him.”

Clarke shook her head. “No. He doesn’t love me. He wouldn’t leave me in the morning if he loved me.”

“You need to talk to him, sweetie. That’s the only way anything gets solved. I know you may like to think of yourself as strong and mighty and able to defeat anything, but this is something you need to talk to him about.” Abbie whispered. “He deserves to know it’s his baby, Clarke.”

“I know…” Clarke breathed, squeezing her eyes shut. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk over here. So, this fic is turning into something I did not anticipate. It was only supposed to be two parts, but then the second part got long so I decided for three. And then the third part got long. And well, yea, it's turning out bigger and the plot is thickening in my head. So I would appreciate if you guys could give me kudos, comments, and spread the word about this fic because I need all the motivation I can get so this gets finished. I already have Hamtoro/Keri on my ass about writing this but any motivation is welcome. Thank you all who have commented so far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four. Holy fuck, this was not meant to go on so long. Read the notes at the end of the chapter for more things I have to say!

Abbie left after explaining to Clarke that the longer she kept this from Bellamy the more trouble it would cause. Clarke agreed, bothered by the fact that her mother knew who the father was with such ease. If her mother knew, everybody else would know too. She couldn’t just pretend that it was someone else’s child. Clarke didn’t hide for long in her tent, knowing that if she did, next time it would be someone like Raven or Octavia who would come and get her.

Dragging herself from the bed, she got ready for the day, placing loose clothing. It wasn’t as if there was anything there but she wanted to make sure that the sudden change to looser fitting clothes would not draw any attention. Clarke gathered her hair into a rough ponytail so everything would be out of her face when she went hunting. She’d have to find someone to hunt with, which would be the hard part. Everybody she would usually partnered with was already out. Octavia would be with Lincoln, since she was finally free from her probation. Maybe she could go find them. Clarke gave it a second thought and shook her head. That would just be embarrassing for all three of them.

She stepped out of the tent, her gear slung across her back. She might have to search through camp for a little bit, but she was positive she would be able to find Wick someplace. He didn’t go out hunting much, unless it was Raven asking, but maybe he would make an exception just this once.

Clarke wandered through camp trying to find Wick. She had checked in the engineer’s tent, and in the mechanic building, but he wasn't there. Then she remembered something Raven had said on the way back to camp yesterday. Wick wanted to update everybody’s hunting gear. It was probable that he was at the armory trying to convince Major Bryne to let him ‘ _update_ ’ the gear.

Sure enough, as she approached the armory she heard Wick’s voice snapping away and Major Bryne arguing back just as much.

 “You don’t understand! I won’t wreck them! I’ll only take them apart!” Wick bellowed, trying to have a voice over Major Bryne’s stream of angry protests. “You just don’t want me to make them better!” Wick growled.

“That is it. You make him listen.” Major Bryne yelled.

Clarke turned the corner into the tent just as another voice responded to Major Bryne. “Hey, he’s not part of the 100, he won’t listen to me.”

A surprised squeak jumped from Clarke’s mouth as she saw Bellamy standing between the two of them. All three looked to Clarke and seemed to drop the subject, though Wick was glaring at Major Bryne as she walked away. Bellamy opened his mouth to speak but before he could Wick stepped in front of him to Clarke.

“You don’t suppose that I could borrow your gear?” Wick asked, a pleading look on his face.

Clarke laughed, trying not to focus on her shaking hands. “You’d have better luck getting Raven’s gear than getting mine, Wick.”

He groaned and threw his arms up in the air. “That’s it, I’m never getting gear. I give up!” Clarke smiled and patted his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ll trick some unsuspecting sky-teen into giving up their gear.” Clarke tried to comfort. “I have to go, I’ll see you later.”

Wick waved his hand, already examining the locked case that kept the guns. She tried not to wince at the thought of what Wick had in mind. Bellamy shifting behind Wick drew Clarke’s attention back to the reason why she was leaving. She turned, almost running out of the armory. A few people looked at her as she went past them but she paid little attention to them and more on the fact that Bellamy was following her out of the tent.

A stream of swears flew through her head as she tried to figure out a way to get him to go away. She knew she needed to tell him about the child but not now. She wasn’t ready, she couldn’t tell him just yet. Clarke had to prepare herself for the anger he would have first. Just as Clarke looked up from her stumbling feet, a person stepped in front of her.

“Nathan!” She said, grabbing onto his arm, happy for an excuse to avoid Bellamy. Nathan frowned at her.

“Clarke, what are you…” Nathan mumbled in confusion.

“Just shut up and walk with me Nathan, we’re going hunting.” Clarke said, dragging him forward with her.

Nathan stumbled behind her, still frowning at her. Clarke looked behind them, wanting to make sure Bellamy had stopped following. When it was clear he had stopped, she paused in her frantic runaway. Clarke took in a deep breath, sighing out in relief. Nathan stared at her as she sighed.

“Were you avoiding Bellamy?” Nathan asked, his arms crossing over his chest in disappointment.

Clarke blushed, ducking her face away from Nathan. It wasn’t fair that people could tell there was a rift between Bellamy and her so easily. “No.” Clarke snipped, trying not to make it seem like she was lying.

“Now, I know you’re better at lying than that.” Nathan pestered. Clarke looked up and glared at him. Nathan might be Bellamy’s second but he sure as hell cannot sass Clarke.

“Says the boy who tried to lie about liking Marian.” Clarke snapped. Nathan blushed just as hard as Clarke did. He frowned and scratched his head. The poor boy had no idea that everybody knew.

“It’s not that obvious, is it?” Nathan mumbled. Clarke rolled her eyes. Obvious was understating it. Marian had talked to Lincoln and Octavia many times to get him to stop trying to woo her. She had even tried talking to Clarke about it, but since Marian didn’t speak as much English as Lincoln did communication was tough. Which considering how Lincoln and Marian were siblings, one would think they would receive the same education. Nathan’s attempts to woo Marian were cute, if not pathetic.

“Let’s just get your gear so we can go hunting.”

“But I’ve already reached my quota for the…” One glare from Clarke shut Nathan up.

They walked across camp to Nathan’s tent. It took them a while because it was almost in the exact opposite direction of the armoury. They supposed it was because Kane wanted to keep them as far away from the weapons as possible. For some reason he refused to trust them. Not that Clarke blamed him. If it wasn’t for Bellamy and Clarke, the 100 would be vicious and would never follow any rule. It was only because of the both of them that they listened. But because of Clarke maybe they wouldn’t listen for much longer.

“Clarke?” Nathan asked, nudging her. She blinked, dragging her head from her depressing thoughts. She realized that they were at the fence and the guards were waiting for her to raise her arms so they could search her before going out.

“Oh, sorry.” Clarke mumbled, doing what she had to. As soon as they got searched and were safe distance away from the camp, Nathan started to talk about Marian again.

“She’s so beautiful, Clarke. More beautiful than any girl I’ve ever been with.” Clarke raised her eyebrows at him, causing him to stutter and turn pink. Clarke snorted, Nathan had been ‘in love’ with Marian ever since she kicked his ass. After he was saved by her from Mount Weather, he had told her that he could have made it out just fine without her. Marian challenged him to a duel and won. Nathan never quite got over that.

Nathan coughed, trying to dispel the awkwardness, pulling his bow off of his back. “We should start hunting if you’re to fit your quota before it was time to go back to camp.”

“It is okay, Nathan, you can talk about Marian. I don’t mind.” Clarke assured her friend. She smiled at him to make sure he knew she didn’t mind. But she followed his lead anyways and grabbed her bow as well.

“You sure? I mean –”

She sighed. “Contrary to popular belief, you talking about Marian isn’t as bothersome as it appears to be. It’s more cute and pathetic than anything.”

“Being pathetic is not cute.” Nathan complained.

“Shush. You’re scaring away the animals.” Clarke joked. But it was true, the animals weren’t coming if they were noisy. Nathan nodded his head and remained silent as they both stalked the woods. Clarke had lost a lot of hours because of her freak out in her tent, she needed to find her quota and fast. She knew that if she explained the situation to Kane, he would give her an exception to the quota. It would only be a matter of time until everybody would want to know why she got a break, though. She wasn’t even ready for Bellamy to know, much less everybody in Camp.

It took them a while to find any animals, and it took them longer to kill them. By the time they finished the hunting, Clarke had a couple of rabbits and a few squirrels. It was high enough over the quota limit that nobody would question her but it was nowhere near the amount she usually got.

The walk back Nathan filled with complaints about how annoying it was that Marian didn’t respond to any way of wooing he knew. He had given her gifts and tried to establish physical contact. He had even started doing things she did, like hunting, fishing, and speaking the grounder language. No matter what he did, she continued to ignore him. Clarke nodded at the right points, rolled her eyes, and hummed when he wanted her to. It kept Nathan from noticing there was anything wrong with her.

Clarke just couldn’t stop thinking about how Bellamy would react when he found out. They were too young to have a child. They didn’t even love each other. Or at least, Bellamy didn’t love her. Clarke dug her fingernails into her hand, trying to ignore the hurt feeling she had in her chest. When they reached the gate, Clarke was already trying to shake herself from her thoughts. This time Clarke didn’t get distracted and lifted her arms at the correct time during the search. After that they went on to the food storage, where they checked if someone met their quota or not. Clarke half paid attention to what Nathan was saying as they walked, trying to focus on her own footsteps to pass the time.

“Name.” Jasper said as they approached, his head not lifting from his list.

“Hey Jasper.” Clarke said.

Jasper lifted his head and smiled. “Clarke! Hey! You weren’t back at your usual time so I figured you were sick. Octavia and Raven mentioned something about you not feeling well. I’m glad you aren’t sick though.”

Clarke smiled at her friend, grabbing the rabbit and squirrels she had and dropped them on the table. She looked down at her catch and frowned. It seemed almost stupid that she wasn’t able to get her usual amount all because of what happened this morning. She shouldn’t have shrugged off her duties for one little thing. One little thing with a heartbeat. A little thing with a heartbeat that was half Bellamy.

“I slept in, which was good for me because I haven’t been sleeping well.” Clarke said, it wasn’t that bad of an excuse.

A deer fell onto the ground beside her, making her yelp and jump back.

“Sorry.” A voice mumbled. Bellamy looked at Clarke, concern on his face. “That your catch?”

Clarke’s mouth opened and shut, trying to find her words before Jasper stepped in, “Hey, Bellamy!”

Seizing her opportunity, Clarke dodged around Nathan to get out of the building before Bellamy could finish with his check in. Clarke ran out of the building, stumbling into people. He knew. He knew something was wrong. With just one glance Bellamy knew that something was wrong. Nathan didn’t notice. Jasper didn’t notice. But Bellamy did. It would only be a matter of time before he noticed why she was ignoring him. He would put everything together. Of course he would. He’s not an idiot. Clarke felt chest tighten and it became harder for her to breath. He would hate her even more for keeping this from him. He would hate her. Bellamy would hate her and she couldn’t- she wouldn’t-

“Clarke!” Nathan yelled, grabbing on to her arm. “God damn it, Clarke, slow down. Tell me what’s wrong!”

Clarke opened her mouth, her lip trembling as she looked at Nathan. “I… I… I’ve got to go.” She ripped her arm from Nathan’s grasp, ducking away into her tent to be alone for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you guys don't know, my tumblr url is [Maliam](ericareyeslives.co.vu), you can go there to follow me for updates about separated but I will mostly be using my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/alphamccalling) and my [Ello](https://ello.co/angstqueen). Also thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate it. Next chapter will be up next week, I don't know the exact date. Thank you again, I appreciate every kudos, comment, and subscribe.


	5. Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this. I thought I wouldn't post it today because school was kicking my ass and I thought for sure that I would eventually just die because I hadn't edited a single thing in this chapter but alas, I SURVIVED! Its a rough edit of this chapter so no judging the terribleness.  
> All definitions of grounder words used in this chapter is at the end!

Clarke groaned, turning around again to walk the other way. Avoiding Bellamy had become harder than she thought it would be. It seemed like he was everywhere she turned. It had been a week since she talked with her mother about telling Bellamy that she was pregnant. A week since she had a panic attack in her tent. Clarke knew she would tell him… eventually. But every time she felt like she would be able to tell him something happened that made her lose her courage.

Exhausted from running around camp to avoid Bellamy, Clarke wandered over to Monty’s moonshine bar to relax. You wouldn’t think that his moonshine would have been made legal after the Arc got to the ground but Jaha overruled Kane in the matter. Apparently everybody needed something to relax them. Anyone younger than 21 couldn’t have any, the exception being the 100. The 100 were privy to a lot of exception because of the guilt the adults felt. It was almost as if they had their own government.

Monty gave her a knowing look as she approached, pouring her a small glass of water since it was too early to drink. Clarke thanked silently that it was otherwise she'd have to explain why she didn't want any moonshine. “With Bellamy coming here almost every day, I’m going to need to make more soon.”

Clarke’s chest tightened at the mention of Bellamy. “Yeah.” She mumbled, turning to go to one of the makeshift tables. Monty seemed to get the point that she wanted to be alone because he didn’t say anything else.

Sipping on her drink, she watched people walk around the camp. Everybody was tense because a patrol thought they had seen reapers yesterday. Kane and Jaha had tried to assure everybody it was nothing but nobody knew that for sure. While the Mountain Men were still alive, the grounders and the 100 periodically went to the tunnels to check if they had made any more reapers. There may not have been any found but that didn’t mean that they weren’t still there. Clarke was just happy that Lincoln had yet to hear of the reapers, if there were even reapers. If Lincoln knew that the Mountain Men were still torturing people, still making them into monsters, he would burn the place to the ground, to hell with any treaty. Octavia had pulled him out of the madness the Mountain Men pushed him into but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fall right back in.

“Thank god, there you are!” Octavia said as she stumbled over to the table. She was carrying a large pack, obviously looking exhausted and emotionally drained. _Oh_. Clarke thought. She didn’t realize it was… well, she had been distracted. Octavia noticed the way Clarke tensed up, biting her lip.

“I... I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I had another choice, Clarke.” Octavia said. Clarke knew Octavia was sincere. She had probably tried to go but ended up backing out last minute. Usually Bellamy was the one to deliver the pack every month.

“No. No, it’s okay. I’ll go deliver this to him.” Clarke reassured, pushing off of her seat. “He killed your friend, Octavia, tried to kill your boyfriend too. You don’t ever have to go.”

Octavia closed her eyes and sighed. It had been months since then. Everybody who knew Octavia was getting frustrated with herself for not being able to face him. “He used to be my friend too, Clarke. I… I want to. It’s just…”

Clarke smiled at her friend with sympathy. She understood. Some things couldn’t be healed, she knew that. Even when Clarke went now, it killed her inside. But he was her friend. Exiled or not. “It took me weeks to be able to face Finn, Octavia. And he didn’t try to kill my boyfriend.”

She dropped the pack with a frustrated sigh. “I’m going to go sleep at Lincolns tonight. I’ll let your mom know so nobody wonders where I am.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, alright?” Clarke said, giving Octavia’s arm a squeeze. Octavia gave her a look, like what she had said was stupid. And it was, really. With Lincoln around, Octavia couldn’t get hurt if she tried. Not to mention Octavia could defend herself just as well as Lincoln could defend her. Octavia gave Clarke one last thankful smile before she turned around and walked towards the tents of the 100. Clarke stared down at the pack, drawing in a deep shaking breath. She had to get going, otherwise she wouldn’t make it to Finn’s camp before night fall.

Downing the rest of the water in her cup, she sighed and got ready for the long trek to Finn’s camp. She made sure there was a walkie talkie so she would be able to call back to camp if something had happened. Abbie made monthly trips to Finn to do a psychological analysis of his mental state but you never knew what could happen in a month. Clarke remembered a few months ago when she stumbled into Finn’s camp and saw him digging a blade into his wrist. To Clarke’s knowledge he hadn’t stopped but he had lessened the depth. She made sure to stop by the armoury and got her hunting gear. Just in case, she thought. When she walked to the gate the guards glared at her. Most people around camp glared at the person who was making the bimonthly trip to Finn’s camp. Clarke liked to think it was because it meant they were giving up resources. However, that was far from the truth. Everybody knew that if the 100 didn’t have a vote in what happened to Finn he would have been executed instead of exiled. Some days Clarke would agree with the Arc voters. She would think about how Finn had massacred that village, how he had killed so many grounders, almost killing Lincoln. She’d think about the harm he caused and would wonder how she could ever vote for exile instead of execution. Then she would think about Finn, the space walker. The boy who had come down to the ground with hope in his eyes and a smile on his lips. Of how horrified he was after he had realized what he did. And she would know that living was more of a punishment than death ever would have been.

While Clarke walked, an abundant feeling that she was being followed filled her gut. Clarke knew that if it was someone who she trusted they would have made themselves known by now. Continuing to walk Clarke moved her hand to the dagger she kept at her side. She had been practising how to throw daggers for a while now and she liked to think that she was good enough to throw it at someone who was following her. She knew if she stopped walking she would alert the person that she knew they were following her. So Clarke had to figure out where the person was while walking and be able to shoot a moving target. She sucked in a deep breath. No big deal.

She walked a long stretch before she was able to pinpoint where the person was. With a swift turn, Clarke flung the dagger at the person, sending it flying directly at them.

The person, unfortunately, was able to jump out of the way and rolled into the path, getting back up with hands in fists.

“ _Aucka corna!_ ” Marian snapped, glaring at Clarke like she had just offended her.

Clarke’s eyes widened, “Shit! Marian, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you!”

Marian huffed, standing up to brush off the leaves from her clothes. “Silly Sky people. No trust.”

That made Clarke want to roll her eyes but she restrained herself, resigning only to grumble, “You were following me, for your information.”

The grounder glared at Clarkes grumble. She didn’t seem to think that following someone was enough probable cause to throw a dagger at the person. Marian sighed, mumbling something in the grounder language that Clarke didn’t understand. Clarke assumed that she probably wasn’t supposed to understand what she said. “You go get blade or I?” Marian asked in her broken English.

Knowing that Marian wouldn’t give it back if she sent her to get the blade, Clarke moved from where she was to grab it from the tree it was embedded in. Marian watched her as Clarke moved up the hill, narrowing her eyes like she was curious about something. It wasn’t until Clarke got back to the path that Marian made her curiosity known.

“ _Ota va chuna?_ ” Marian asked. Clarke rolled her eyes at Marian that time, gesturing to her own body. She wasn’t Octavia, she didn’t know the grounder language better than she knew English.

Marian frowned, squeezing her eyes tightly. She was probably trying to think of the word in English. With a huff, Marian gestured to Clarke’s stomach and rounded it out. “ _Chuna_?”

Clarkes jaw dropped, grabbing her own stomach. “I... What? How!”

She shrugged. “Lincoln healer. He teach me ways of women. I know signs.”

“You can’t tell this early on.” Clarke said. Her mother taught her things too and Clarke knew there was no signs this early that you could tell.

“No, not sky signs.” Marian corrected. She gestured to herself. “Grounder signs.” Marian must have thought that Clarke didn’t believe in her, which technically she didn’t, because she continued. “You hold _otar vivan._ ” Clarke knew that word, stomach. Clarke looked down at her hand and saw that it was in fact holding her stomach.

“Walk like protecting. Heavy steps, swelled feet, or sky person, I don’t care. Tired up hill.” Marian explained. She paused, looking at Clarke like she was wondering if she needed to go on. Clarke waved her hand. Well, grounders were always more observant.

“Why were you sneaking up on me?” Clarke asked. Changing the subject would be easier than trying to talk about the child.

Marian’s cheeks tinged pink. “Staying with Lincoln but Octavia come.”

Clarke couldn’t suppress a laugh. Marian got sexiled! The laugh was not appreciated, though, because Marian growled angrily to get her to stop. Clarke’s laugh faded into giggles before she completely stopped. “Sorry, Marian. Do you want to walk with me?”

Marian pursed her lips. “Okay, I walk.”

She gestured for Marian to follow her as Clarke turned to walk. They walked in mostly silence. Once in a while Marian would point to something and say the word in grounder language. Clarke would reply back with the word for it in English. Clarke wanted to enjoy the silence but half of the time was spent worrying how long she had before it became obvious to everyone in the camp that she was pregnant. She didn’t want to make it seem like she was trying to hide it, even though in a way she was trying to hide it. Bellamy was a lot smarter than most. He would surely put it together. A sigh left Clarkes lips. She was screwed.

“Clarke?” Mariam said, a look of concern crossing her face.

“Its fine, Marian. It’s just...” Clarke looked down to her stomach. “ _Chune_.”

A smile crossed Marian’s face. “ _Chun-A, nei Chune, Chuna. Chune fish._ ”

Clarke laughed slightly. “Right, _chuna_.”

She nodded, happy with Clarkes attempt to speak the grounder language. Clarke knew one thing for sure, when she had this child it would learn both languages. “Why _Chuna_ make you sad?” Marian asked. “ _Chuna_ good.”

“ _Chuna_ has no father.” Clarke mumbled. A look of horror crossed Marian’s face causing Clarke to realize her mistake. “Oh, no, uh… There is a father. He doesn’t know.”

The horror from Marians face changed into confusion. “Why?”

“I don’t think he’d want it.”

A rough grounder word fell from Marian’s lips that Clarke recognized. Octavia snarled it whenever she was angry. “If man want no Chuna in grounder village, he is coward. Village commander take his rank and take child as own. Unless it is a stain on the bloodline.  Not same in sky?”

“No… Not the same. We don’t have ranks in the sky to take.”

Marian frowned for a second. “Ah, rank wrong word. Um… Lincoln has rank. You child’s father has rank. You and I not have rank. Octavia not have rank.”

Clarke’s eyes widened as she realized what Marian meant. “You mean… Oh my god.” Clarke whispered in horror. Well it was no wonder why a male didn’t abandon his child in grounder culture. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to have another. With blushing cheeks, Clarke mumbled a correction, causing Marian to laugh at Clarke’s embarrassment. Listening to Marian’s laugh made Clarke want to laugh herself. It was so happy and carefree. Clarke laughed along with Marian, giggling and stumbling forward. Marian’s and Clarke’s laughs faded away, both of them sighing happily. A moment of silence between them passed before either of them spoke up again.

“Who father?” Marian asked, “Do I know?”

“Bellamy. Octavia’s _Tonalis_.” Clarke said.

She hummed, nodding her head. “Who knows?”

“You and my mother.” Clarke mumbled. The two people that knew didn’t even have to be told, they guessed from evidence. While Marian’s evidence might not have been exactly scientific, it worked. Clarke sucked in her lips, popping them out to dispel the awkwardness.

“You not know him coward until you tell him.” Marian said.

Clarke closed her eyes and puffed some air from her nose. “Yeah, don’t I know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aucka corna - What the Hell  
> Ota va chuna - You with child  
> otar vivan - your stomach  
> Chuna- Child  
> Nei - No  
> Chune - Fish  
> Tonalis - Brother
> 
> All Kudos, Comments, And Subscribes are appreciated! Thank you!


	6. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* What? A chapter on Friday? No way!
> 
> Yes, yes, everybody, I am posting on Friday. It's because I am sick currently and I figure if I'm sick somebody else might be sick. So, here. Hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> All grounder words used will be at the end notes. 
> 
> **WARNING**
> 
> Smut is in this chapter. Everything in italics up to the kiss is perfectly safe for you guys to read if you don't read smut. (Which considering how this story started I don't get why you wouldn't be but hey, I am not judging). 
> 
> A special thanks to [Natalie](http://hufflecas.tumblr.com/). She is a beautiful goddess who writes porn like a fucking porn star, god bless her. 
> 
> All comments, kudos, and subscribed are appreciated. I love all of you!

A whistle passed through Clarke’s lips as they approached Finn’s camp.

“Who you look for?” Marian asked, eyes narrowing. Clarke opened her mouth to say it was Finn when she realized who exactly she was bringing along. Shit. A person jumped from one of the near by trees, landing on the ground gently before walking up to the two of them. Marian turned and looked at Finn, confusion filling her face. The confusion matched Finn’s face.

“Clarke who is...”

“Finn, I...”

Before Clarke could say anything else, the sound of a horn rang through the forest. All three of them froze in their spots. Despite the pack Clarke had brought she forgot to bring a tent as protection. She should have known to bring at least one in case someone went to close to the mountain. Marian looked to Finn and Clarke, waiting for someone to make a move.

“Quick, I know a place we can hide from the fog.” Finn said. Marian and Clarke nodded. They didn’t hesitate to follow where Finn led them. It didn’t matter any more who Finn was to Marian. All that mattered was they had to get to shelter to survive. It was only when they began to get close to where Finn was leading them that Clarke realized where exactly they were going.

_“Come on, Clarke, it’d be cool to look around.” Bellamy said. He prodded Clarke in the shoulder to get a reaction out of Clarke. Clarke glared at Bellamy almost lifting her hand to smack his shoulder. But he was right. It would be pretty cool to investigate that bunker. It looked bigger than what Finn and Clarke discovered when they first landed on earth. Bellamy and Clarke were already so far away from Camp, though. If they spent too much time exploring, people would get worried back at camp._

_A sigh left her lips. “Fine, but lets make it quick.”_

Clarke’s stumble was recognized by Marian and Finn because they both turned.

“No wait. Must hurry.” Marian growled. She took hold of Clarke’s arm, tugging her forward. Clarke suppressed a whimper from her throat. Why did they have to go to this place. Looking over her shoulder she could already see the fog brushing through the trees, an eerie green making her feel sick. Or it could have just been the child. With the pull of Marian, they ran the final lengths to the bunker, jumping inside and sealing the door behind them.

They all collapsed on the floor, Clarke wrapping her arms around her stomach. At least she wasn’t to far along, any longer and running would have put a strain on her. Heavy breaths filled the bunker and Clarke squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t think about that. She had to keep herself focused.

“Who this?” Marian asked when she had caught her breath.

Finn nodded his head, “I could ask you the same question, Clarke doesn’t hang around grounders much.”

Clarke took the nearest object to her, which happened to be a dusty book, and tossed it at Finn’s head. He dodged it unfortunately. “Finn, rude.” He frowned at her, taking on the face of a scolded puppy Taking in a deep breath Clarke prepared herself on what was going to happen. She knew Marian would react badly to being around Finn if she knew who he was. “He’s Finn. The exiled boy.” Marian’s eyes blew wide as she reached for her blade at her hip. Clarke reached over and grabbed Marian’s arm to stop her. “Kill him and the treaty will end.”

An almost whine came from Marian’s mouth but she took her hand of the blade. Finn relaxed as well and put back his own weapon. Clarke could still see the hatred he felt for grounders in his eyes. He had changed after the war. Even after he had carved the names of the people he killed into his body as punishment he had never gotten over his distrust of the grounders. Too many things had happened for him to change his mind about the grounders. Clarke’s mother was attempting to help him in hope that maybe one day he would be able to come out of exile. Clarke knew that even if it was possible to get rid of his hatred towards grounders, the grounders would never forgive him for what he did. Clarke sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back against the wall behind her. A silent wish ran through her head. She would give anything to be out of this cursed bunker.

_“Bell, come on. We should go.” Clarke complained as Bellamy looked around. He grumbled something under his breath that Clarke couldn’t hear. Annoyance getting the best of her Clarke grabbed his arms and pulled him away from the cupboards he was searching through. “God damnit, Bellamy. We have to go.”_

_“Just wait, I know there should be some around here somewhere.” Bellamy snipped, detaching his arm from Clarke’s hand. She huffed and crossing her arms. He was always the most difficult person to deal with when he was set on getting something. It only bothered her that she had no idea what he was looking for. Bellamy smirked at her and  ruffled her hair with affection before turning back to the cupboards. He had almost searched the entire bunker, which was relatively large compared to previous bunkers she had seen. She was interested in seeing what it held but they didn’t have enough time. Next time she would have to put in a formal proposal to leave the camp for an extended period of time. Clarke knew taking Bellamy wouldn’t be an option. He would complain so much otherwise. The only problem was that they didn’t have much free time together. Often one of them had a job to do while the other one was taking a break from their own job._

_Clarke tapped her foot absent-mindedly. While trying to think of a way to get Bellamy out of the bunker, Clarke’s thoughts were interrupted as he shouted in triumph._

_“I found some!” Bellamy declared running out from one of the other rooms, smiling as if he had won some sort of prize. Clarke’s annoyed demeanor chiseled away. His smile always made her more relaxed than anything ever could._

_“Okay, good, now can we go?” Clarke asked._

_“Here.” Bellamy said while holding out what he had found. Clarke squinted her eyes to see in the little light they had and gasped._ Chocolate. _She stared at it until Bellamy jerked his hand forward. “Come on, take it.”_

_She snatched it from his hand. “Bellamy how-”_

_“Finn tells me stories when I deliver supplies to him. He told me about how you love chocolate a couple trips back.” Bellamy said. She wished they had more light because even though Clarke couldn’t be sure it looked like Bellamy was blushing. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other to try to dissipate the awkwardness he was feeling. “I might have been trying to find a bunker with chocolate in it for a while.”_

_“Bellamy…” Clarke whispered. She wanted to repay him but she didn’t know how to without making a fool of himself. Finally deciding that she would have to repay him later, Clarke flung her arms around Bellamys neck. It wasn’t anything special, they gave each other hugs almost every single day, but it would have to do._

A nudge drew Clarke from her thoughts. She turned to the nudge. She wanted to thank them for taking her away from her memories but at the same time wanted to curse them. It was a lot simpler back then. There wasn’t any tension between them. Marian was beside Clarke with her legs curled up protectively against her body.

“You let me walk you to see this _Alchantak_.” Clarke flinched a little at Marian’s harsh word. During the treaty discussions the word had been thrown around constantly. The word murder in their language just as harsh as it was supposed to be. Taking a peak of where Finn was, Clarke safely assumed that Finn could not hear them. He was across the room with his supplies that had Clarke shrugged off her shoulders when they got into the bunker. Marian nudged Clarke again angrily. “ _Alchantak_ not be near _chuna_.”

Clarke glared at Marian. Clarke hands gripped her stomach, frightened to even think of losing the child. Despite the trouble it had caused she wouldn’t get rid of it for anything. “Finn would never hurt me.”

Marian only snorted. “Why? Because of past?”

“No, because if he hurt me Bellamy would stop at nothing to hunt him down and torture him to death.” Clarke snapped. As soon as the words left her mouth she felt an odd twinge in her heart. It wasn’t as if those words weren’t true, Bellamy had threatened, on many occasions, that if anyone hurt her there would be hell to pay. She remembered during the peace treaty talks a grounder had threatened her life because of the explosion that killed his daughter. Bellamy had thrown him to the ground and had a knife to his throat so fast that not even the grounders were able to stop him. The grounders knew from then on that threatening Clarke’s life only meant threatening their own. To hear herself acknowledge that fact made it seem more real than anything. It almost seemed stupid for her to hide the child from Bellamy. He protected her ferociously, he would protect the child too. Even if he didn’t love Clarke the way she loved him. Marian’s judging face turned to stare at Finn across the room.

“ _Alchantak_.” Marian snipped loudly, causing Finn’s shoulders to tense and raise. He turned his head over his shoulder to see Marian. “What is on arms?”

Finn turned fully, walking just close enough to the pair of them so they could see Finn in the limited amount of light their flashlights offered. He pulled away the ripped and dirty sleeve from his arm so Marian could see the names up his arms. Each name was carved into his skin deeply. It was obvious no amount of healing could take them away. Clarke didn’t have enough fingers to count the amount of times she found Finn passed out from those cuts. She worried that one day she would find him dead before he could get all the names on his body. Marian sucked in a deep breath.

“Why?” The simple word passed the grounders lips.

“Grounders or not, they were still human.” Finn responded. Marian nodded her head. She turned it away to look across the room. Finn walked back to his pack to continue to investigate. He knew it was best to not interact with Marian as much as possible. Clarke looked between the both of them, wondering how long it would take for hell to break loose.

_Bellamy’s arms curled around her almost automatically to pull her flush against him. She breathed him in and clutched the chocolate gave her in one hand and the back of his head in the other. As they pulled away from another Clarke tried not to think how she wanted to stay in his arms._

_“Now we can go.” Bellamy said with a happy smirk sitting on his lips. Clarke smiled back at him and gestured for him to lead the way. He wandered to the ladder, climbing up it with the cocky ease he was known for. While turning open the hatch, Bellamy froze. “Clarke… Hatches aren’t supposed to leak in green fog in when they are opened, are they?”_

_Clarke yelped, dropping the chocolate in her hand from surprise. “Shit! Close it, quickly!” Bellamy twirled the lock back on, jumping from the ladder swearing black and blue. Clarke grabbed Bellamy’s hands to check if they were wounded._

_Bellamy laughed at her worry. “I’m fine, Princess.” He promised. He attempted to pull away his hands but she pulled them right back to her._

_Clarke glared at Bellamy, “Then why were you swearing?” She raised her eyebrows in suspicion. Bellamy had always hid his pain from people. Clarke knew that more often than not you had to push to get him to tell you anything._

_He shrugged his shoulders but didn’t say anything. Clarke let go of one of his hands to brush the hair out of his face. He didn’t look hurt. She would have to check close, though, and with more light. She moved to take her hands away from Bellamy but before she could Bellamy moved his free hand up to cup Clarke’s own hand against his face. Clarke’s breath caught in her throat._

_“I was worried you had gotten hurt.” Bellamy whispered. His eyes refused to meet Clarke’s. Instead they stayed trained on their hands. Bellamy’s thumb brushed against Clarke’s knuckles. “I’m sorry I dragged you down here for stupid chocolate.”_

_Clarke shook her head. “It’s… It’s fine. I may have stepped on the chocolate when I was running to you, though.”_

_Bellamy chuckled, looking up slightly. “That’s okay, Princess.”_

Finn coughed. “Clarke, your walkie-talkie is beeping.” Her frantic hands grappled with the walkie talkie hooked to her hip before she was able to grab it.

“Hey, I’m alive.” Clarke said as she pushed the button on the walkie. A relieved sigh came from the other end, the wind bellowing just as much there as it was at the bunker.

“Don’t worry us, honey.” Abbie said. “We were scared you didn’t find shelter in time. Next time the horn goes, call us as soon as possible, okay?”

Clarke sighed at her mothers needless worry. Clarke was smart, she knew that she had to call and she would have. She was just a little preoccupied with her thoughts. Her mother always worried too much and Clarke knew that nothing she could do would change that. “Yeah, I know. It’s okay. Finn got me to shelter in time. We are in an old bunker.”

A loud slam sounded on the other head, making Clarke squeak from shock. Luckily the talk button wasn’t on so Her mother didn’t hear her.

“Sorry, Bellamy just dropped something.” Abbie informed, knowing the walkie-talkie would have amplified the sound. Clarke’s heart jumped into her throat. With pink tinged cheeks she whispered back into the walkie talkie.

“Tell him to be more careful next time.”

_Clarke looked down to their hands, feeling her heart beat erratically in her chest. Why did holding hands with Bellamy make her feel so… alive? She had held hands with Bellamy before but never this intimately. Clarke sucked in her bottom lip before looking back to Bellamy’s face. When she looked up she saw his eyes were not on her eyes but on her lips, gazing intensely. Bellamy noticed Clarke was looking back at him and his gaze flickered up to her eyes._

_“I…” Clarke whispered. “You need to be more careful next time.” Her heart beat was getting worse._

_“I will.” Bellamy moved his face slightly towards hers, just so his breath could be felt on her lips. He stayed at that length, breathing steadily. Clarke’s tongue dipped out to wet her lips. Her body thrummed in anticipation. Not that Clarke would admit it out loud but she would always look at Bellamy’s lips and wondered how they would feel against hers. “Looking to you, Princess.” Bellamy breathed. One single breath fled from Clarke’s mouth before she made her decision. Clarke moved forward, connecting her lips with Bellamys._

_Both moaned at the contact. It was almost as if they had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Clarke noted how Bellamy’s lips softened against the curve of hers. How he tilted his head just so. The way his hands curled up into hair to pull her even closer. Clarke’s hands clutched Bellamy’s shirt, pulling him roughly against her. Barely breaking their breaths, the two of them wandered through the doorway into one of the rooms, falling upon the bed. Clarke flipped them around so she could straddle Bellamy’s legs. Her lips lifted off Bellamys. She needed to catch her breath and ground herself._

_“Clarke.” Bellamy moaned. “Clarke, can…”_

_Before Bellamy could continue his question she grabbed his hands lying on her hips and moved them to their chest. A whimper of pleasure escaped her as he cupped her breasts. With a swift roll of her hips, she caused Bellamy to let out his own hum of pleasure. Clarke moved her hands from his shirt to his hair, pulling just right so his lips pressed against hers. His tongue darted from his own mouth, pressing against her lips. A quiet moan allowed him access, their breaths colliding and tongues wrapping. Bellamy’s hips rolled on their own accord. A small gasp escaped her lips as she could feel his length press against her just right._

_“Clothes. Off. Now.” Clarke purred._

Abbie hummed. “He’s left the med bay. Sweetie, I -”

“I know. I don’t have much battery left, I’ll talk to you after the storm.” Clarke snipped quickly before shutting off the walkie completely.

Clarke pushed herself angrily of the floor, wanting to throw something in the bunker. She wanted to trash the place, destroy the memory that was plaguing her heart. Marian got up from where she was. Concern was already flooding Marian’s face as she reached for Clarke’s arm.

“Clarke, calm. You stay calm.” Marian tried to said. Clarke shrugged out of Marian’s grasp. She felt trapped in the bunker. It was almost as if she was back with him in this bunker. Her neck heated. If she had one wish she would wish that it had never happened. If that night had never happened than she wouldn’t be in the mess that she was. Avoiding her best friend, lying to her friends, searching for any way for it to just stop. Clarke’s hands flew to her head, pulling at her hair. Even if Bellamy was willing to take on the child, Clarke didn’t know how to be a mother. Bellamy knew something about parenting from Octavia but Clarke knew nothing. It was inevitable. She was going to be terrible parent. That was it. Clarke could do nothing to stop it.

“Hey, hey, Clarke!” Finn said, stepping quickly towards Clarke. Marian gave a swift growl, pulling her knife from her waist.

“Leave her alone, _Alchantak_.” Marian snarled, looking ready to kill Finn if he stepped one inch closer.

“She’s my friend.” Finn snapped. he ignored the blade pointed in his direction and walked fully up to Clarke, grabbing her shoulders. “Clarke, hey, come on.”

“I can’t do it.” Clarke whimpered. “I can’t. I won’t be able to. They’ll hate me. Oh my god they’ll hate me! And - And then Bellamy will too and I - I …” Clarke’s words were broken off by a sob. Finn shushed her with as much gentleness as he could, grabbing her fully and pulling her against his chest.

“I can’t, I can’t!” Clarke sobbed.

_Bellamy’s hands crept up around her, tickling her skin with a gentle shy affection. A shiver curled down her spine as Bellamy released the clasp that held her bra together. Clarke’s body warmed from the pleasure she was feeling. With both of them naked all she could think about was how much she had dreamed about it._

_He sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. “You’re beautiful,” Bellamy whispered, the words embracing her._

_Clarke gave him a shy smile, arms half-heartedly crossed over her chest. She felt self-conscious under his gaze. She was inadequate to him. Bellamy had always been a ladies man, the attraction being that he was older than all of the other 100. Clarke couldn’t help the feeling that she was half as much as the women Bellamy had slept with before. “Don’t say that.” Clarke whispered._

_“But you are.” He kissed her, and she opened her lips readily to him. He moved his lips down her neck and she melted into the touch, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, drawing him in closer. “More beautiful than anyone I’ve seen.” Bellamy had one hand buried in her hair and his other trailed down her body. He paused when his fingers reached the dark golden thatch of hair between her legs until she shifted her hips towards him, opening her thighs in invitation. Despite her insecurity, Clarke’s body was desperate for touch and she was not about to let this opportunity go to waste because she felt she wasn’t enough._

_Clarke hadn’t known how wet she was until Bellamy slid one finger inside her and brought it back outside to rub circles against her clit. She gasped aloud, letting the noise settle into a moan as his fingers found a rhythm against her. She rocked her hips against his hand, encouraging to put two fingers inside her, and move his thumb against her clit instead. She leaned back, lengthening her body, relishing the heat of his skin against hers. Bellamy let his mouth travel down her neck until he took one of her nipples between his lips, pressing lightly with his teeth._

_Clarke could feel Bellamy’s cock against her thigh, hard and hot and leaking precome. She wrapped her fingers around it tentatively, and smiled at the low growl it elicited from the man underneath her. She jerked him a few times, slowly, but found it hard to concentrate with his own fingers still fucking her._

_Gently she eased his hand away and pushed against his shoulders so that he was lying back. If he was confused at the gesture it didn’t last long. She adjusted herself so she was holding herself over Bellamy. She leaned down and kissed him again, deeply, as she positioned herself on top of his cock and sank down._

_Bracing her hands on his shoulders and using her knees for leverage, she began riding him. “This okay?” she asked, her voice breathy with need._

_“Yeah. Fuck, you feel good.” Bellamy ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her close to suck at the skin of her neck._

_She sank down onto him fully, feeling him fill her. Fingers in his hair, she gently tilted his head back so that his eyes locked with hers. Without breaking his gaze she began grinding against him, her breath breaking now and again whenever his cock hit just the right spot. She picked up speed, never once moving her eyes from his, even when she felt her orgasm building and then spilling through her. She cried out, breathing hard and heavy, one hand clenching through his hair and the other digging half-moons into his skin. He came half a beat after her, her name on his lips._

The next day Clarke woke curled against Marian with dried tears on her face. Finn was standing across the room, fiddling with his knife as he watched over them. She had to tell Bellamy. Even if Bellamy didn’t want Clarke, he would want the child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alchantak - Murderer  
> Chuna - Child


	7. Back Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright, I fucked up. Explanation on why I am so late posting this at the end notes.

If she was going to tell Bellamy as soon as she got back to camp, Clarke needed a plan. She couldn’t just go up to him in camp and tell him that she was carrying his child. No. She needed a way to get him out of the camp to tell him. If he reacted badly then… at least then she could just lie to everybody about who the father was.

Marian nudged Clarke’s shoulder, alerting her to the fact that they reached the border. Some grounders weren’t allowed to go past a certain point, just like some sky people weren’t able to. Each group had territory that the other respected. Very few people were allowed to flow from one camp to another. Octavia was probably one of the only person able to do that. Clarke turned to Marian, a smile on her face.

“Thank you, Marian. It was nice to talk to someone about this.”

After a silent pause, an awkward smile pulled at Marian’s lips. “You are Ohuna.”

Ohuna. Family. Clarke almost squealed, throwing herself forward and flinging her arms around Marian’s neck. Marian froze at Clarke’s touch but she didn’t push her away so Clarke continued to hold her. To be called family by Marian meant a lot. She didn’t trust people easily and she trusted sky people even less. Clarke pushed herself off of Marian. With a smile on her face Clarke said, “You’re my family too, Marian.”

Marian nodded her head at her friend. She squeezed Clarks hand quickly before stepping back to a comfortable distance. “I  go,  Clarke. You visit when you can?” Marian asked.

“Of course, Marian. Soon, I promise.” Clarke said. After a quick parting wave, they went their separate ways. She was going to ask for leave as soon as she got back anyway, it would be a nice excuse to visit them. Lincoln and Marian for a little while. She hadn’t seen Lincoln in a long while. Maybe she could get Octavia leave as well. It would be tough for her to swing it considering how the council members didn’t like when more than one of the 100 leaders were out at the same time. Clarke would swing it somehow. The council members knew what her situation was, since her mother knew about the baby. If she explained why she wanted Octavia with her than her mother would talk to the other council members about it.

Clarke approached the gate with a worried Raven on the other side. She shifted from one foot to the other as Clarke got searched at the gate. As soon as she was released from the guards, Raven flung herself at her friend. Clarke laughed, hugging her just as tight.

“You’d think I was back in Mount Weather.” Clarke giggled as Raven released her.

Raven shrugged her shoulders. “Well, yeah. Stupid Mount Weather still likes to fuck with us with the acid rain. I was worried about you.”

“We should have made them destroy that system too.” Clarke grumbled from annoyance. “Every time an idiot goes into that room, it gets set off. You think the president would have enough sense to shut it down.”

Raven snorted, rolling her eyes. Both of them knew that the president was the only reason why a treaty was struck between the three races. Without the president, the 100 and the grounders would have burned Mount Weather to the ground. Clarke smiled at Raven. She wondered to herself what Raven would think of Clarke having a child. What would Raven think about it being Bellamy’s kid?

“Bellamy was pretty fucking worried too.” Raven said, shoving her hands into her pockets. Clarke’s heart sped up at Bellamy’s name. She needed to find him. No more avoiding it. She had to tell him about the child.

“Oh. Do you… Do you know where he is right now?” Clarke asked, trying to seem casual. Bellamy and her were - are - friends, it shouldn’t be weird that she's asking where he is. But of course, Raven was smarter than most and quirked her head to the side. Raven’s eyebrows knit together as she stared at Clarke.

Thankfully, Raven didn’t say about it. Before she was completely avoiding Bellamy and cringing at his name, now she wanted to know where he was. Clarke hoped that Raven just thought that she was going to fix the fight between them.

“He went hunting, I think,” Raven said. “I remember last night Abby gave him the day off today. You know his favourite spots, I’m sure you could find him.”

Clarke pursed her lips and nodded her head. “Yeah, shouldn’t be too hard.” Unless Bellamy suddenly changed his hunting trails, she knew exactly where he was. He had the perfect tree he liked to perch himself in when he went hunting. He would sit there and watch the forest comfortably until an animal came along. She missed sitting in that tree with him. His hand would always creep around her waist. To keep you steady he would say. Clarke liked to pretend it was because he wanted to hold her. Before she went back out of camp, she would have to check in with her mother. This morning when Clarke turned the radio back on, her mother wanted her to come straight to her when she got back to camp. Clarke already wasted enough time with Raven.

“I’m going to check in with my mom, see you later Raven.” Clarke waved at her friend as she walked away towards the council building. Kane, Jaha, and Abby hardly left that building. And if they did, they were sleeping - but usually they were sleeping in their own tents. Clarke mostly looked after the sick but since the grounders taught them more about medical problems on the ground, there was less and less people in the sick bay for her to take care off. Walking through camp made her smile more as people waved at her. Even being gone a day and people were missing her. Clarke was like, despite how much she would protest, the princess. Bellamy enjoyed to bother her about it.

What Clarke wouldn’t give to have him bother her again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess what happened is I was tired of Separated. It was just too much Bellarke ( I know, crazy right?) but I've always been a ficlet girl, so to write something just one ship for so long was kind of exhausting. So I thought I would take a break and come right back to it. It took longer for me to want to write it than I thought it would. I think I have fixed the problem now, though. I am now writing a star trek fic as well - so I have two fics going of different fandoms. This will keep me moving from one universe to another. 
> 
> I am so fucking sorry about this - I feel like a terrible author. I promised something and I didn't do it. I am so sorry. The next chapter will hopefully be better. I am so sorry. Throw any questions at my tumblr [](http://ericareyeslives.co.vu>over%20here</a>.%20I%20welcome%20every%20message!)


	8. Look Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I'M LATE. Here have a really sweet adorable chapter.

Clarke walked into the council room just as a glass flew across the room. She ducked just in time for it to miss her head. Her mother, only a few feet to the left of her, crossed her arm and rose her eyebrow at the civilian who threw the glass. Clarke knew that look so well. It was the _you better grovel on the floor or your life is going to be hell_ look. The civilian, one of the survivors from the other crash sites, obviously did not see the danger they were in.

“This is bullshit!” The civilian snarled at Clarkes mother. “If I want to leave camp I should be able to whenever I want.” Clarke inched away from the door. The civilian would be marching right out of here in a rage in a few seconds.

Abbie shifted her feet. “You realize the treaty with the grounders was only made a year ago. If we let someone like you out of the camp, you could make that treaty disappear in an instant. I am not letting someone who just wants to walk around at night and smoke whatever mysterious plant he found risk the treaty my daughter worked so hard for.” With each word Abbie spoke, the civilian got more and more angry. But even as he got angry, he remained still and did not once move towards Abbie. Perhaps he knew that if he even tried to hurt her, Abbie would have him on the ground before he could touch her. Abbie sighed. “Get out of my sight before I have you thrown into solitary for attempting to harm a council member.”

The civilian didn’t bother opening his mouth. He only glared roughly at Abbie before storming out of the council building. Clarke watched as her mother grumbled and paced over to the other side of the room where her desk was. Kane was out at the monthly grounder meeting. Jaha was probably doing paperwork.

“You know, Clarke, sometimes I wonder how you ever survived down here without killing each other. One minute with some of their parents make me want to scream.” Abbie said as she poured herself a cup off coffee. Lexa had given it as a gift to Abbie when the treaty was made. She always got more after the monthly grounder meeting.

Clarke smiled at her mothers back. Her shoulders were extremely tense, she had probably been dealing with that all day. The civilians had been getting more and more annoyed about their lack of freedom. Kane was trying to start negotiations about the sky people having their own villages besides the camp but it was slow going. Each word had to be calculated and thought about.

Abbie turned around, blowing quietly on her hot cup of coffee.

“Trust me, mom, I wanted to. A lot.” Specifically, Bellamy. Oh he annoyed her. _Whatever the hell we want_. The chaos he ensued was immense but he had helped fix that since then.

She hummed, nodding her head. “How was the drop off?”

“Well… Marian and Finn didn’t kill each other, so I guess it went pretty well.” Clarke said. Marian and Finn were well behaved all things considering. She thought she would at least have to patch up one stab wound. She probably would have if the acid fog hadn’t blown through. Abbie sighed.

“Only you would be able to keep them from each others throats. You’ve always had a better time keeping people calm than I have.” Her mother said. With a small smile, Abbie walked towards her daughter and wrapped her empty arm around her. Clarke copied her and allowed herself to be squeezed by her mother.

“How was the camp while I was gone?” Clarke asked. Her mother didn’t need to ask about the underlying meaning. She knew that Clarke really asking _how was Bellamy_.

“The second the acid fog was gone, Bellamy went out from camp. We’re under lock down right now, actually. The acid fog pushed a cougar into our territory. The grounders are pushing it to the east.” Abbie said. The annoyance was clear in her voice. She didn’t like how the grounders had rules against killing the cougars. _We only kill what we need_ Commander Lexa told them when they asked about it. Respecting the customs of each others clan was vital for peace, so the sky people didn’t question it and allowed them to continually shoo the cougar back from where it came. Clarke frowned, someone should have gone to see if they could bring Bellamy back by now. Maybe Abbie hadn’t put it on her high list of priorities. Before Clarke could even ask for permission to leave camp, Abbie shook her head.

“Lockdown means you too, Clarke, Bellamy left without permission and bullied a new guard into letting him out. Don’t even think about trying anything.”

Clarke glared at her mother. Like she would ever try to get through the gate on a lock down. The 100 knew that if they wanted to get out of camp during a lockdown that all they had to do was escape through Raven’s gate.

Which was exactly what Clarke did. As soon as her mother shooed her out of the council building,Clarke ducked out of camp through Raven's gate. Cougar no cougar, she was going to find Bellamy. The Grounders were already hunting it down so it wasn't as if the cougar was going to be in their territory for long

As Clarke walked to Bellamy's favourite hunting grounds, she thought about the words she needed to  say. First she would have to apologize for ignoring him. Bellamy was going to be annoyed at her the most for that. But hopefully once she explained to him why she was avoiding him, he would understand. Bellamy might think that she avoided him because she thought he wasn't going to be a good father. She needed to make it clear that she thought he was going to be a good father, it was herself that she was unsure about. If all went well, she would have Bellamy to teach her how to be a parent.

Bellamy's favourite hunting grounds were, ironically, where they had found Jasper strung to the tree and Clarke almost fell into the pit of spears. Since then the pit of spears had been removed and filled. Animals passed through the clearing and if you were patient you could catch plenty by sitting in one of the trees surrounding it.

Just like Raven said, Bellamy was curled in his small perch at the edge of the clearing. Clarke whistle a low melody, letting him know that it was her. They had created the small melody so the other didn't have to wonder who was approaching them. Despite the fact that Bellamy was half hidden by the tree's leaves, she could see him tense.

"Who is it?" Bellamy asked. He knew very well it was her, no one else knew their whistle. Clarke pursed her lips, wondering if she should reply sarcastically. Of course, before the baby, she would have. But now.... now she's not so sure if it's the best idea.

"Just me. Can you... can you come down here?" Clarke asked. "I want to talk to you."

It's easier to run away if I'm on the ground. Clarke thought. She doesn't want to be rejected by Bellamy and have it difficult for her to escape the awkwardness. Bellamy turned in his perch. She moved her head to the side to see Bellamy's unease.

"It's safer in the trees where the cougar can't get at us." The scolding almost made Clarke roll her eyes. She knew very well that the cougar could climb trees, he just didn't want to talk. Which was reasonable of course, Clarke hadn't spoke to him in months. Lucky for Clarke, she was barely showing, so Bellamy didn't know why she hadn't talked to him.

"The cougar was chased to the east by the grounders, thats what commander Lexa said. We're safe. You wouldn't have left camp if you didn't know that."

Bellamy huffed. They were going to talk whether he wanted to or not. If somebody wanted Bellamy to talk about something then they had to work for it. Clarke was not going to let him off so easily. After some shifting, Bellamy climbed down from his perch. He landed on the ground, handgun at his side with his quiver and bow on his back. Clarke swallowed down her nerves when she saw him. She couldn't back out now. she wouldn't back out now.

"What did you want to talk about, Clarke?" Bellamy asked coolly. Clarke suppressed a wince. He used her name. Most of the time he called her Princess, and when he didn't call her that he called her any other of the silly nicknames he came up for her. He only used her first name when he wanted to distance himself from her.

"Could you.... could you not do that Bellamy?" Clarke asked. She looked down at her feet. She didn't deserve to ask, but it felt wrong for him to call her Clarke. She wanted nothing more than for him to go back to calling her the weirdest names.

He crossed his arms and gave her an equally annoyed and confused face. "Could I not what, Clarke, because I don't know what you want anymore."

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy, Bellamy." Clarke whimpered. She didn't want him to stare at her like she ripped out his heart and stomped at it. It made her think things that she never thought of before. Made her think that maybe she was wrong, maybe Bellamy did like her more than she thought.

"You stopped hanging around me. You stopped talking to me. Clarke, you just randomly started to avoid me, I don't know what you are right now." Bellamy snapped. "Look, if you didn't want to fuck then you could have just told me."

"No, it's not that." Clarke said quickly, looking up to Bellamy. "It's not... I mean... It's..." Clarke's cheeks tinged pink. It was, in fact, that action that got them into this situation in the first place. "No... I don't want to stop."

Once Clarke said that, it looked like a huge weight was lifted from Bellamy's shoulders. He relaxed, his face less anxious about what she was about to say. "Oh... I... Yeah. That is.. Uh.. good. I... Good, that's good." Clarke wanted to reach out and press her lips to his, to reassure him that she never, ever, wanted to stop having those late nights with him, but if she did that, she knew her resolve would crumble into pieces. She had to get everything out.

"But... There's something I need to tell you. And... It's going to... it's going to change a lot of things." Clarke told him quietly. She didn't want to worry him but she had to tell him. He'd find out sooner or later. There was no way in hell that she was going to get rid of the baby.

Those words brought the weight right back onto Bellamy's shoulders. "Oh... So you know?" Bellamy asked. "Was it Octavia who told you? I always thought she would."

"Bellamy, what are you talking about?" Clarke asked, confusion getting the best of her. Octavia? Knowing? What the hell was he talking about?

A small blush worked its way onto Bellamy's cheeks. "I have to grab my rabbit." Clarke almost sighed as Bellamy turned to the clearing to grab the dead rabbit he shot. He took every single opening for escape. Clarke followed him into the clearing, her arms crossed from annoyance. All she wanted to do was tell him about the child but he was bringing something else up that she had no idea about. While he took the arrow out of the rabbits eye, a quite mumble stirred from him. "I mean, it's okay if you don't feel the same way. It's just... I'm not going to stop feeling that because you don't."

“Bellamy, what are you talking about?" Clarke asked. She had no clue what Bellamy was even talking about.  He was making as much sense as grounder language to a sky person.

He huffed and pushed himself off of the grounder with the rabbits ears in his hand. Turning to face her, Bellamy snapped “I’m talking about how I lo-”  Bellamy cut himself off before he could say anymore. A slight blush tinged his cheeks as he furrowed his brow. “Wait… what are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to tell you why I stopped talking to you!” Clarke said exasperated.

Bellamy sighed and shook his head. He ran his hand through his hair, clutching it before dropping his hand to his side. “I thought that was what we were talking about right now!”

Clarke threw her hands up in the air. If they were talking about that right now than he sure as hell would be making some sense. Clarke grumbled from annoyance. “No. I am trying to. You are talking about something completely different.”

“Okay, I have no clue why you stopped talking to me, then.” Bellamy admitted.

“If you stopped doing whatever the hell you wanted for one second, maybe I would be able to tell you.” Clarke snapped at him.

Bellamy crossed his arms. “Well if its not that, then what it is?”

Clarke opened her mouth to tell him, to finally tell him, when she saw something move in the bushes. Only it caused the bushes to move more than they normally would for a small animal. Clarke grabbed onto Bellamy’s arm, pulling him around so he faced the bushes. “I think something is out there.”

He rolled his eyes at her but unhooked his gun from it’s position anyways. “Told you we should have stayed in the trees.”

“You tell me to do a lot of things, Bellamy, have never listened to any of them?” Clarke grumbled to him. Bellamy huffed and pointed his gun at the bushes.

“I guess not, princess” He rumbled. After clearing his throat, Bellamy unclicked the safety off the gun. “Now if there is a person in those bushes, you might want to come out because I’m going to shoot in three… two… one.”

Bellamy’s gun went off with a clean bang, the bullet zipping into where the bushes move. No sound from an animal getting shot was made. Bellamy turned to Clarke and smirked. “See. Nothing there, you’re just crazy.”

Clarke sighed, ready to roll her eyes to move past this when some flicker caught her eyes. A tail.

“Bellamy, watch out!” Clarke yelped as something jumped from the bushes. She flung herself forward to push Bellamy out of the way just as a set of claws dug into her shoulder and stomach.

A scream from pain ripped through her mouth and then…. nothing.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied.  
> (Not edited, didn't have time to do anything)


	9. I've got you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, wait, what? GABRIEL IS ACTUALLY ON TIME FOR POSTING SEPARATED HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? 
> 
> Yes, yes, I worked very hard to have this chapter up on time, so I hope you guys enjoy it. And I hope its not too much torture.

Bellamy dug his nails into his palm, trying to cause himself pain. Clarke was in surgery. She was in surgery because of him.

He should be the one with his life on the line, not her. Never her.

The cougar had outsmarted Marian and Lincoln when it realized that there was more food in the sky people territory. It circled back to the clearing and spotted Clarke and Bellamy arguing. Luckily, Marian and Lincoln had realized as much and followed it back. But they were just a little too slow to kill it before it attacked. Just as it’s claws seeped into Clarke’s skin, Lincoln and Marian shot arrows through its heart.

Marian and Lincoln had been pacing outside the gate of the camp ever since Bellamy carried a bleeding Clarke back to camp. They weren’t leaving no matter how much guns the guards pointed at them.

Octavia sat beside Bellamy, her head on his shoulder for comfort. She was the only one who knew exactly how Bellamy felt about Clarke. Or at least, the only one who had it confirmed from Bellamy himself.

_“You’re in love with Clarke.” Octavia whispered when the grounder warriors and sky people sat outside of Mount Weather._

_Bellamy gripped tightly onto his gun, watching how Clarke was speaking with Finn like he was a friend. He was dangerous, unpredictable, but he knew that if he told Clarke that she would only push Bellamy away not Finn. “You can’t tell her, O.”_

_“But Bellamy-”_

_“No, Octavia. I’m serious. You can’t tell her. Promise me.” Bellamy demanded from his sister. Octavia stared silently at Bellamy for a long while before she nodded her head slowly._

Her fingers slipped through his to stop him from punishing himself. She knew him too well. Bellamy’s hands shook from fear. He couldn’t lose Clarke. If he lost her… no. He couldn’t think about that. She wasn’t allowed to die. Octavia brought her free hand to his cheek and turned his face to her.

“Clarke is strong, Bellamy.” Octavia reminded him. “She’ll be fine.”

Bellamy thought of the blood pooling on her stomach, how she screamed from the pain, about her getting colder in his arms every second. He knew she was strong but… he didn’t understand how anybody could survive that. But she had to. She had to survive or Bellamy didn’t think he would be able to.

“I have to go shoo Lincoln and Marian away from the camp before Kane blows a gasket. Do you want me to get anybody? Monty, Jasper, Raven? I’m sure Nathan would sit with you if you wanted.” Octavia said. She let go of Bellamy’s hands slowly like if she did it too fast he would break. Her felt like he would break any moment anyways. He shook his head. He didn’t need someone to watch his world fall apart. He had done that alone enough times already.

“I’ll be fine.”

Octavia gave Bellamy a look like she didn’t believe him. To be honest he didn’t believe himself either. She didn’t stay though. She knew him well enough that she knew that having someone sit by him wouldn’t change anything. Bellamy would still worry about Clarke and he would still feel like it was his fault no matter what anybody said to him. Octavia pushed herself off her seat on the bench outside of medical and pressed one kiss to Bellamy's temple.

“Stay strong, brother.” She whispered to him before leaving to the gate. Bellamy watched her go, almost laughing as the guards shrinked under her glare. Sky person or grounder, everybody knew that Octavia was a force to be reckoned with. Octavia let Lincoln curl his arm around her and tuck his face into her hair before she led the brother and sister away from the camp. Everybody still got uncomfortable around the grounders except for a few of the 100 so Octavia kept them away from the camp as much as she could. Honestly, Bellamy was half surprised that the two of them didn’t push their way through the guards when Bellamy ran into camp with Clarke bleeding in his arms.

Abbie had let out a terrified scream when she had saw her daughter so pale. With a quick bark of orders, Clarke was in medical almost as soon as she arrived. All Bellamy wanted was for Clarke to walk out of medical and glare at Bellamy.

_I'm not porcelain, Bellamy, I’m fine._

But she didn’t and it was hours until Abbie walked out of the building. Her plastic gloves were stained a disgusting shade of red that made Bellamy want to puke. That was Clarke’s blood. That was what was supposed to keep her alive. Abbie looked exhausted but not devastated. He took that as a good sign..

Bellamy stood from his chair. “Is she okay?”

“She is.” Abbie said with sorrow. If Clarke was fine, why was Abbie sad? Bellamy was about to press on but Abbie continued before he could. “But…” For a second she stared at Bellamy. She shook her head. “Bellamy, why was she out there?”

“She came to talk to me about… about why we weren’t talking. The cougar attacked before she could tell me anything.”

Abbie sighed and nodded. “I thought as much. She’ll have to tell you the rest when she wakes up.”

Bellamy squeezed his hands into fists. “Why the hell can’t you tell me?” Her eyebrows rose at Bellamy’s attitude. Bellamy dropped his shoulders, looking to the ground. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re worried. But I’m sorry, Clarke would kill us both if I told you.” Abbie said. Bellamy’s stomach twisted as he tried to figure out what Clarke had to tell him that Abbie couldn’t. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing was making sense. At first he thought Clarke had stopped talking to him because she had found out he thought of her as more than a friend. He wouldn’t blame her. Bellamy had killed people. After Finn, he could understand why Clarke would want to stay away from killers. But she said that wasn’t it, or at least she didn’t know what Bellamy was talking about. So Bellamy had no idea what it could be.

He nodded his head, he’d have to wait until Clarke woke up. At least she would wake up. Abbie reached to hold Bellamy’s arm but stopped herself when she remembered the blood. “I’m sorry, Bellamy. There isn’t anything you can do here but wait for her to wake up. Why don’t you go out of camp for a while? I’ll give you a free pass.”

Just as Bellamy was about to argue back that he was needed here, Abbie gave him a look that said _take the free pass or I’m kicking you out of camp_. He sighed. “When will she be awake?”

“My best guess? Two hours but she needs to rest. Don’t come back for five hours, I’ll let you into medical then.” Abbie smiled at Bellamy with sympathy. He almost wanted to barge into Medical just to see Clarke. If only just for a second. He needed to see that she was okay. But Bellamy knew if he did that that he wouldn’t be allowed in Medical for longer, which meant not seeing Clarke for a while. Bellamy would rather wait for a time than see her and be forced to wait for longer.

He gave Abbie one last look before he left to go to the weapon tent. He had to grab a new bow and gun if he was going to go hunting. His original weapons were stained with Clarke’s blood. Bellamy looked at his hands. He had washed the blood off but that didn’t mean he still couldn’t feel it. Clarke’s blood was on his hand and he might not have cut her open but he was the reason why she got hurt.

Everybody in camp was staring at him while he walked, scrambling out of the way. They all knew that Clarke was injured and that Bellamy was breaking in two because of it. Bellamy couldn’t stand the way they looked at him like he was going to fall to the ground sobbing any second. He might be breaking but he would not break in front of them.

When he got to the weapons tent, Major Bryne gave him a knowing look. It bothered him, slightly, that she seemed to understand what he needed. It made him wonder about who she lost, how she lost them. That was the only way that she would know what he was going through. She gave him the new weapons without a problem. Usually when someone took out a second set of weapons, there was a lot more problems that arose and a lot more papers that needed to be signed. One little signature on a piece of paper and Bellamy was out of the gate, hunting on a different trail than he usually was. He didn’t think he would ever be able to go back on his normal hunting trail, not without nightmares filling his head. Not without seeing Clarke dead on the ground and the blood on his hands.

Clarke would call him stupid if she knew what he was thinking. She would tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that both of them thought the cougar was already chased off, but he didn't know if he would believe her or not. He was the one who didn’t insist on stay in the trees. Everybody knew that when their was a cougar on the prowl you either stayed in the camp or in the trees. It was the only way you would be able to survive it.

Bellamy walked for what seemed like miles before he stopped to claim a spot in a good tree. Unlike most of the Sky Hunters, Bellamy prefered to sit and wait for some to come along like a Grounder. When he and Clarke would go hunting they would sit for hours together, whispering secrets to each other that no one else knew. Like how afraid clarke felt every time she saw Finn. Or how Bellamy can’t look at Octavia without feeling like he betrayed her. Bellamy would curl his hand around her waist and pull her tight against him, using the excuse that she might fall otherwise. The one secret he kept from her was that sometimes he wished he could hold her just because.

A pair of footsteps crunched the leaves in the bushes below his perch. He could tell they were human, and that they were a sky person by the way they didn’t bother to tread lightly.

“I’m fine, Reyes.” Bellamy grumbled. Of course Octavia sent Raven. She probably didn’t even think about how stupid it was to send Raven after him when she knew he hunted when he needed a distraction. Raven walking alone in the woods probably scared off all his prey.

“I told you that you were to loud.” Raven complained. Bellamy turned to see Raven jumping off of Wick’s back. He glared at her before crossing his arms.

“Whatever, Mechanic. I’ll be picking berries. You go talk about…” Wicks eyes fleetingly looked to Bellamy in the tree. The sympathy in his eyes was almost too much for Bellamy to look at. Wick was the one to look away first. “...Stuff.” He finished.

Raven rolled her eyes at her boyfriend as he walked off to ‘pick berries’. Considering how he took Raven’s weapons with him, they all knew that he was just going to play around with them. Bellamy stared down at Raven, who stared back up at him.

“If you think I am coming up there, you are more fucked in the head than I thought you were, Blake.” Raven said.

“I’m hunting.” Bellamy replied with as much snark as Raven gave him. Like hell he was going back down on the ground. If he was on the ground that meant that he had to actually talk to Raven about this.

As much as he and Raven liked to pretend they hated each other, they knew each other a lot better than they would admit. Each of them sort of had a rough past, with Raven’s mother hating her and Bellamy desperately trying to keep Octavia secret. They knew how much it hurt to be themselves sometimes. If Raven got a good look at him, she would know in a second that he was a moment away from falling apart.

“Bullshit.”

Or maybe she didn’t even need to get a good look at him. Bellamy sighed. There was no point trying to hide up in the tree now. Bellamy dropped his bow and arrows on the ground in front of Raven before strapping his gun to his hip again. It wasn’t mandatory for people who go out of the camp to have a handgun but Bellamy just liked to keep one with him for extra safety. After making sure the gun was secure, Bellamy climbed down from his tree.

Raven stood in front of Bellamy with her arms crossed and leaning heavily against the tree. Wick must have only carried her half way, because she seemed exhausted. Of course, Raven would fight to walk all this way on her own. “Clarke isn’t hurt because of you.”

Bellamy tried not to wince as Raven said that. She knew exactly what he was thinking, without so much as a glance. “That’s what people tell me.”

“But like hell if you believe them, right?” He shrugged his shoulders. What other people thought didn't really matter. Bellamy knew that it was his fault. He was the one who caused the rift between Clarke and him. Or at least thought he was. Raven sighed and opened her arms. “Come here, you shit.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Raven, I don’t need a hug.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Clarke is my friend too, idiot, I didn’t say you needed one.”

Frowning, Bellamy allowed Raven to wrap her arms him. As soon as her arms pulled him into her, he let out a huge breath he had been keeping in. She held him as tight as she possible could. Bellamy’s hands shook at her side before he lifted them up to grip onto Raven’s back.

“It’s okay, Bellamy. You can let it out, I’m here for you.” Raven whispered.

That was all Bellamy needed to drop his head into Raven’s shoulder and cry.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment, kudos, subscribe, and bookmark is hugely appreciated. 
> 
> Next chapter may or may not be up on February 8th, I may post it later because on February 6th I am turning 18!
> 
> And last tidbit of information - I have a [writing tumblr blog](http://maliam.tumblr.com/) now just for writing and updates about my writing. If you guys would follow it, that would be wonderful.


	10. discontinued

I am so sorry guys but this story is going to be discontinued. 

And I guess there is a slew of reasons why, and it feels unfair to you guys if i don't tell you them so I feel like i should

  1. All of the characters are basically OOC- I mean, if Clarke got pregnant she wouldn't spend a month fucking around and not telling Bellamy, she knows hes a good guy and would accept the baby even if he didn't accept her.
  2. Canon!verse fucked this to shit- lets see. Finn, Bryne, Jaha, all of those people aren't in the story at camp anymore like fuck. also not to mention all the shit going on in mount weather. god this is just painful to write because its so different from canon.
  3. I've fallen off of my path- I planned this out so well but everything has changed and I have no idea where I am going any more. It's like I started it specifically to get to one point now it keeps going around. 
  4. I don't really ship bellarke anymore? - I mean, i ship it, and I always will, but it's not my main ship any more in the 100 and it kind of makes me sad that I didn't put lexa in this fic at all. 
  5. The time line makes no sense at all - like jesus fuck its stupid
  6. I have no time- basically everything is piling on me and im trying to keep up but I seriously cannot. and writing two fics at once is killing me. So I sat down and looked at all of my stuff to see what I can get rid of. Guess what? it was fanfiction. Hell, I'm probably going to be updating my other fic like once a month so everybody is losing something.



and thats basically it. I'm so sorry, I feel like a crap person for this, and I wish i could continue it but I can't. I'm sorry. I'll delete the fic in like a week, so that way nobody get's their hopes up. I'm sorry subscribers. Maybe I'll rewrite this during the summer, maybe I won't. Either way, I'm not continuing this. Sorry guys, I know how much you liked this.

 


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